Copy test with Ogilvy - B

This is one of the articles I had written as part of my copy test with Ogilvy. No, I didn't take the job due to several reasons; money being the biggest of them. Hope you enjoy reading it...


*Describe a walk from your house to the grocer around the corner in any 3 styles


1) Arundhati Roy:

“For the last time, Maxim, will you go get the groceries!” yelled my mother.

Grudgingly, I stomp out of the house. Why does she want coriander anyway? I argued with myself. The weather gods were at their worst. The rains charged towards the earth with a vengeance. I pass by the laundry and the Paanwala. It certainly felt silly to go out in this weather for coriander. Couldn’t she just cook without it? Don’t we have a substitute for coriander in the 21st century? My grumbling rivalled the thundering skies.

I never realised how far the grocer was. They really should offer free home delivery! I’d even tip them for getting our groceries in the rain. Dodging auto rickshaws and potholes, I take a left from the dairy. I hope she doesn’t need milk now! What is that tree doing in the middle of the road? What is this city coming to…

SPLASH!

My thoughts are invaded by a resounding spurt of water. The car that caused this apparently believed that it could recreate Jesus’ miracle, of walking over water, by passing over the water-filled pothole at light speed. Sadly the driver only managed Moses’ miracle of parting the sea.

I finally reach the grocer. “Bhaiyya, kotmeer dena, please!”
“Kotmeer nahin hai… ”
“What the hell… ” I swore aloud!


2) 50 Cent (Parental Advisory)

Yo! Yo! Yo! Check it out y’all!
Ma mama, she told me to get coriander
What the –BLEEP– is she thinkin’… it’s no time to meander
The rain it keep messin’ up… Wazza point of dressin’ up?
Goin’ past the laundry and the guy who makes the paan
I wonder why she can’t cook without it, man!

Where the grocer put up? I don’t seem to recall
All the sh*t is so messed up, I shudda given ‘im a call
Damn, these auto rickshaws – Gotta keep ma’ ass safe
Watch out, Dawg! Dun’ let that pothole be ya’ grave
Left from the dairy and now just down the lane
The tree is in middle – what are we – insane?

WHAM! Check the guy playin’ Jesus, man!
To move over water, I think, was his plan…
But instead he did a Moses, as you can see
He drove ova’ the water and parted the sea

So I reach the freakin’ grocer and ask for kotmeer
And he says to me, “Dawg, we ain’t got no kotmeer”
And I say, “-BLEEP-BLEEP-BLEEP-”


3) An illiterate person

OK, so, main kya bol raha tha… Haan… My mother telling to getting… Wo, kotmeer… Coriander! Haan, so she shouting and I going. Rain bad. Big big rain coming! I no want to go for coriander… err… Kisliye she wanting coriander now? Cooking with something else, no? But still I going. I see Istiriwala bhaiyya and paanwala bhaiyya. I no happy.

Baniya man living very far, I not knowing. He not give free home delivery. Very much autos and khaddaas in road, so going slowly. From doodhwala bhaiyya go left… baayein… Haan, left! Big jhaad in road center! Big problem becoming!

Then car putting water on me and I shout! Driver thinking he Jejus or what? Car no go over water! Water… kya bolte hai… Uchcha-ling and going on other peoples.

OK, so I ask Baniya bhaiyya, “Bhaiyya, kotmeer dena!”
And he tell to me “No kotmeer!”
Dhatt tere ki!