Wednesday 19 August 2009

Progress on the Bhaskar-Bharti Case

Apparently, someone couldn't wait for the serial to unravel and reveal that Bhaskar was truly Bharti... Some private investigators decided to take on the case and, well, 'cut' to the point...

Friday 14 August 2009

The Real Maggi Ad

We've all seen this ad on TV before... But I was just thinking to myself: When has Maggi ever been ready in under 2 minutes? And is that counting or not counting the time it takes to boil the water, open the packet and add the veggies? Then the wheels of my head got turning and I turned to Pixton to encapsulate a Maggi Ad if it were a scene from real life. The result is as under:

Ambiguity Killed the People

Wednesday 12 August 2009

Banner Business

So, the Assembly polls are right around the corner. You know this not because the newspapers keep mentioning it... (Face it - the hot story nowadays is the Swine Flu and the consequent rise in the number of deaths). Our political parties, however, always make their presence felt. Of course, by that I do not mean instances of social welfare or public interests (Don't be ludicrous!) You know it's election time when a momentary lapse in awareness, while you're walking down the street, results in you smacking your face into a banner full of faces you don't quite recognise.

One such political party in the last elections, a few months ago, was of the opinion that people living between Kandivali and Malad were less than 4 feet tall. So they put a banner which I like to call - The Public Problem:


What happened the next day though, was nothing short of a miracle. I think if we all followed in their footsteps (rather than wait for the electoral commissions' guidelines... Heaven knows when they'll arrive) we may have, what I like to call - The Public Solution:


Whether it was a rival political party or a concerned citizen, I just want to say a big thanks for this public service that you've done. Oh! And last night, while returning home, I saw a huge banner flat on the ground... I'd like to think that even nature's on our side! *wink*

Monday 11 May 2009

When the Pandavas Lost Sahadev


This write up is a tribute to a person I knew as a friend and loved as a brother. This is a tribute to Amadeus 'Amy' D'souza.

If, like the others, you want to know how it happened; how he died, then you're at the wrong page because I won't be talking about it. You can ask any of his other friends who will be able to give you that side of the story. I will, instead, pen down the way he lived; not because he exemplified how to live the perfect life, but because he lived his imperfect life to the fullest!

I first met Amy as a 16-yr-old, wet-behind-the-ears punk, who was just so full of infectious energy and life. He was this impish, no-care-in-the-world kinda kid who was an absolute joy to be around. Within the four days spent together at the YES Camp, we got along splendidly. On the last day of the camp, I told him that if I ever had a little brother, I’d imagine him to be just like him; to which he replied, "You’re more than that!"

From then on, I stopped calling him Amy and began calling him 'bro'.

The thing with him was that if you didn’t know him, you would certainly end up hating his guts and wouldn't be able to stand him. You would find him noisy and irritating, and would want to slap his face! But, as you learned more about him and came to know him better, you start loving him for the very same qualities. I, like every other close friend of his, can only say, “Been there. Done that.”

He always showed himself to be this lonesome ranger; out alone in the world, with an exterior that was tough enough to cut through diamonds. He always came across like a person who didn’t give a damn about anyone else, but himself. Yet the truth about Amy, if there be nothing else, was that he cared too much; cared a lot for his family and even more for his friends. Cared enough to go to great lengths to do anything and everything he could, if he just knew that those actions would bring his loved ones an iota of bliss.

My friend circle and groups kept changing, but Amy was always my constant. Forever within my Circle of Trust (CoT); Sahadev among my Pandavas; 1/6th of my life, of me; my element of air; part of our Charmed – Power of Three and the little brother that I had always wanted. He partnered me in all our madness. His presence gave me a sense of assurance that someone was always watching my back! His wit, humour and childlike innocence were enough to make your day!

Yet, even as one who spent a sizeable amount of time with Amy, there were times when I couldn’t understand him. I remember the 2nd YES Camp that we had gone to. I had begun distancing myself from him because I just couldn’t get myself to understand and accept him for his volatile nature. He cried and later told me that Nidhi and I were the only ones to have ever made him cry. And I had already given up on him, when he turned the whole thing around and refused to let me give up on him! (This is possibly the greatest thing I’m thankful to you for, bro!)

When I moved out of my old house (after enduring months of tyranny and abuse from my uncle), I was quite embarrassed to call my friends over to my new place. With the kind of money we had; the kind of home we could afford was not exactly 'ek sapnon ka mahal'. This embarrassment unconsciously made me apologise for things like ‘the house being too small’ or ‘there not being enough furniture’. Until one day Amy said, "You, shut up! This is my house and I won't be treated as a guest in my own house! It's small and has less furniture, but I love it!"

So what has Amy left behind? A few unfulfilled promises, some incomplete memories and a million possibilities of what life could’ve been with him. He said that he'd always be there even if no one was. He wanted me to accompany him to Furtados to buy himself a guitar so that he could learn and practice. We were to go to Goa and have a blast like old times. I had promised to spend more time with him than I had done the last time he had come home on holiday! As I desperately cling on to him and his memories, I realise that he couldn’t and cannot be a part of so many of them. He was the reason we got together and got to hang out with each other. And now I fear that his passing away may serve as a death sentence to whatever is left of a friendship that he, unknowingly, nurtured.

It seems so unfair that sometimes life doesn't give you a second chance. Why couldn’t this have been another near-death experience that would have jolted him into being a little more careful and a little less reckless? He deserved a chance at life, did he not? He wanted so much more out of life and he should have been allowed to chase all those dreams! Why then was he not given this chance? Why did he have to be taken away from us? Why?

I wonder what Amy would’ve said, if he could reply to these questions. I wonder if he thinks the same thing. I wonder if he wishes he could’ve spent more time with us, been a part of all our outings and meetings instead of being cast away at sea. I shudder to think of the events and people that may have flashed through his mind, as he lay battered and bruised by the road; before death came and claimed him.

Still I know that even in death, he will not go back on his word! And that whenever I’ll need him he’ll always be there, like he had promised! And though I’ll never be able to hold, hug or kiss him again; I know that from now on, every smile of mine will be his gift. I know that every stroke of luck will be him pulling the strings somewhere. I know that every time my friends and I meet up and interact, Amy’s going to be right there in our midst, in our minds and in our hearts.

Bro, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again –
  1. I love you
  2. You are the best bro in the whole world

Rest in peace.

Friday 23 January 2009

"TOUCH WOOD!"

"Fortunately," said our client, knocking three times on the wooden table top, "We've not had any major copyright issues in the last 10-12 years."

Quaint.

In an age when machines are slowly replacing humans, when Artificial Intelligence is no longer a theme for a sci-fi Hollywood flick, when scientific theories that we learned in school and college are being disproved by newer scientific discoveries everyday, It's quite amusing to see how we still carry these quaint little superstitions with us through the day and how we, almost always unconsciously, turn to them now and again.

As luck should have it, my residence was plagued by a relentless little rodent that wreaked havoc in its wake... Mum began hanging the groceries and other edible items on nails and hooks that she had, in her maternal foresight, put around the kitchen for such an eventuality. It took a while to convince her that in this case prevention wasn't better than cure and that we would indeed have to resort to rat poison or at least a mousetrap.

I come back home from office the next day and my mum looks at me with a glow in her eyes! "He's taken the bait," she said.
"Who? What bait?" I asked
My mum starts playing dumb charades with me... She holds out her hands close to her face, wrinkles her nose and pouts her lips doing, what she thought was, an impression of a mouse...
"I still don't get it!" I said.
Frustrated she mouths in Hakka, "Lao-chu-aye!"
"Rat?"
"Shhh... Don't say their name!" She reprimanded, "Your grandma used to say that when they (rats) hear their name, they become alert and refuse to leave the house!"
"What?"
"Yes, and we just got some poison last night and this morning it was gone... (The rest of the conversation fades into obscurity)".

Of course, I giggled at the thought, but I couldn't help but think of all those times that I'd given in to those superstitious beliefs. Just the last day, while absent-mindedly playing with a pair of scissors, I couldn't stop myself from rubbing those scissors on the ground to ward off any chances of getting into a fight with a loved one. Another time, I experienced a throbbing in my right eye; one that faithfully followed me for two days thereafter. On the second day of the eye-flickering ordeal, I turned to my colleague and reported it to her. She said, "It is considered a good omen for the right eye to flicker... Or is the left one? I'm not sure... One of them is good and the other one bad..."

Once while travelling by the company bus, a colleague jumped over another to get to the other side of the bus. The latter had recently suffered a bad sprain in the ankle and was resting her leg on the adjacent seat, across the gangway. One of the co-passengers quipped, "You shouldn't cross over people like that... It reduces their height and their growth ceases!" (My colleague with the sprained ankle is 26.)

When it comes to omens and superstitions, I think Indians lead the whole foray, all the way! We have delved into the auspicious and inauspicious since time immemorial. It appears that there was a whole slump in these beliefs somewhere around the 80's and 90's. With times getting increasingly unpredictable and difficult and with the blooming of the whole Vaastu and Feng Shui industry (ha!) it does give a sense of comfort that we are given signs of events to come and that we can, in a very small way, read those signs and not be taken completely by surprise when that event occurs!

Hmmm... Is it just me or is my right palm really itching? That's a sign that there's money coming my way, right? Or is it the left palm? So, am I going to lose some precious green in the near future? In any case, ‘Forewarned is Forearmed’... And I'm ready… Touch Wood!

P.S.: It appears mum's rat superstition did help after all! Not only did we catch the little fellow, in a trap that we borrowed from our neighbour, but we also managed to get two of his buddies with the rat poison that mum had 'planted' at strategic locations in the kitchen. I guess, there'll be no more ra... Shhh... (ahem!) in my house now! ;)